How I Met The Real Barney
by PotterHeaded Half-Blood
Summary: What if Barney wasn't an adult when he met Ted? What if he was a thirteen year old good at hiding his age? What if the gang finds out? Barney Whittaker was 13 when ran away, now 25 how will he deal with his past and confrontation? Not BxR!
1. Barney Whittaker

**_Authors note: sorry if the grammar is bad. I have uploaded this from my iPhone and this is my very first story.  
Disclaimer: I do not own, or have right to any of the character, places, or anything else retaining to the show How I Met Your Mother._**

Barney Stinson had a good life. A thirty- some year old with a good career, nice apartment, and enough one night stands to make anyone's head spin.  
At least that's what everyone thought.

Barney Whittaker ran away from home when he was thirteen. He moved in with his best friend James. He constructed a fake identity, and hired women to pretend that hehad sex with them, in order to get people to believe he was in his thirties.

It worked. The world saw him as a young, suited, playboy named Barney Stinson.  
He was only thirteen years and seven months old when he met Ted Mosby. Even though there was a large age difference ( which Ted didn't know about) Barney felt they clicked in the bar. He became teds best friend.

Fast forward 12 years

Barney Whittaker, now twenty five, still under the alias of a thirty some Barney Stinson, slept late, missing the morning news.  
Lily, who had woken up early do to Marvin Wait For It Eriksen's crying, turned on the news blearily. She saw the weather, local traffic and all the usual stuff. Then a missing persons report came up.  
"Yes Phil, once again it seems as if winter is coming early. Now, exactly twelve years today, a thirteen year old Barney Whittaker went missing. Still missing today, he is now twenty- five. Assuming that he still alive if course. His parents have a 500,000 thousand dollar reward for any one that finds their son. Here's a sketch of him twelve years ago, and one that has been aged to twenty five years."  
Lily started choking. The sketches looked just like Barney.  
" MARSHALL!" She yelled, pausing the news. Marshall came running out in his boxers.  
" Marshall look at this, " said a shocked Lily," tell me that isn't Barney." Marshall looked and couldn't answer.  
" Lily, you get Ted and Robin over here, I'll call Barney. "  
Shortly after showing the news clip, and listening to Ted mutter," at the bar, he told me he was twenty three, our age, I mean I thought he looked a bit young, but, hell I would have never guessed." Robin just sat in shock **_(/: Authors note: Barney and Robin didn't get together in my universe:/)_**  
Soon Barney walked in, after seeing the Picture frozen on the television, he looked nervous, before covering with his usual cheerful mask. " hey guys…" he said carefully.  
"We need to talk said Marshall, Ted, Lily and Robin. Barney swallowed thickly.

**_Love it? Hate it? Want to burn it with a blow torch? Please review, criticism accepted!( I know I need it). But please don't pm until I get stuff sorted out._**


	2. The truth

Se I do not own the televison show How i Met Your Mother, nor do i make any money from this. Amen.  
Wow, sorry guys I went to post my third chapter, and checked my reviews to vind out a king and caring author named rubymcintyre informed me I posted the same chaprter twice! Opps! Thanks! I hope k took the second version off correctly, but I am not sur. Thank you so much rubymcintyre, I LOVE YOU, third chapter will be up soon but I justfound out I have to retype it ( sisters suck)

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Barney swallowed. Again. Ted glared. Marshall looked confused. Lily looked concered and angry. Robin looked to be in shock.  
" Hey, guys, let me explain," said Barney," that's my little cousin...Barnford... the news mixes up his name every year. True story, I have to leave now... work..."  
" Don't you take a single step, Barney, I - We, we want the truth. Now." Robin said. Barney took a step back towards the door. Crud, crud, crud, went through his mind, as he inched towards escape.  
" Not a single step more Barney, or I swear to God I will..." Ted didn't know what to threaten.  
" Beat you with a Canadian flag!" Robin finished. The gang nodded approving.  
Barney sat down on the edge of the couch, ready to run if needed. "Barney, is that you?" Lily questioned, afraid of his answer. Looking at the floor, Barney realized there was no way to lie his way out of this, gave a small, almost nonexistant nod. Marshall swore.  
"What the h*ll Barney?" Ted yelled." We are supposed to be BROS does that mean nothing to you? Nothing at all?" Barney got up to leave, but Lily pulled him down roughly.  
" YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING AND HAVING SEX SINCE YOU WERE FOURTEEN?" She shouted.  
Barney shook his head. " im- I'm still a virgin, I had thoose girls lie. And I paythe bar people once a month to serve me soda of the same color alcohal I ask for. I swear."  
" we haveto go to the police Whittaker." Said Ted bitterly. He was furious at Barney. He played the nesclip more until it got to the missing person toll- free number. Punching it into his cell phone, he held it up to his ear.  
" Hello this is Ted Mosby. I have foung one of the missing persons. Who? Barney Whittaker. Yes I will have him over by noon for a blood test."  
Barney stared at Ted in shock before lowering his head and listining to his friends drawn out and long winded lecture. He didn't want to go back, he, Barney, once Whittaker, now Stinson, and possibly soon to be forced back into Wittaker, was purly and completely terrified.


	3. Chap3

Hello readers. I'm really sorry its been so long, but I was looking at this and it is crapy. I will try to end it in 2 or 3 chapters. Mabey one day when I am a better author I will do a rerwrite. I also noticed whike peeking at the coments that a couple guest our having a little spat. Other than Lily and Marshall there won't be really any romance in this... also.I have no idea on what happens if you report a missing person. Please review and PM is now working for me!  
So, let the fic begin!  
Disclamer~i do not ownor claim ownership to the T.V. show How I Met Your Mother, or its characters. I do not recive any money for this it is purly for fun.

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Barney's throat was dry. He didn't know what to do. He looked towards the door. Marshall caught this, and stood between Barney and the door. Ted, still looked betrayed and confused, the cell phone held loose in his grasp. Lily was comforting baby Marvin, who had started to fuss.

"Come on Barney, get somthing to eat and I'll drive you to the station." Marshall said.

"I'm coming to," Lily and Pobin said together. Ted just nodded. Barney nodded dumbly and poured himself a bowl of ceral. He felt exposed, and unsafe. He knew the blood test would come out as a positive match to Whittaker's. How coulnt it? They were the same person after all, biologecly at least. He had left Whittaker years ago, when he ran away, he just couldn't handle it...his parents divorce, his sisters death...His dad winning custody.

His dad...He hadn't thought about him in years...After his older sister, his dad's only daughter, had been killed by a drubk driver, his dad had vowed had vowed to give up drinking. Pssh, like that lasted. A few days and he was back to drinking himself into a drunken haze. He never really hit Barney, just yelled and called him useless, amost other dispicable words and phrases, telling him it was his fault his mother left. Tellng him that if hadn't been an idiot and argued with his sister that night, she would never have tried driving to there Mom's house, would have never been hit.

He felt somthing wet slide down his cheek and realized that he had been crying. He quickly wiped the tears on his sleeve, hopeing no one noticed. Lily, Marshall and Robin didn't, they were talking, huddled in a group. Ted, however noticed. Seeing his friend look so sad, and broken, Ted felt his anger slide away, Barney may have been legaly an adult, and lived as an adult for years, but he was still very much a kid.

"I'm sorry Barnicle, but I had to call, its illegal not to, besides don't you want to see your family again?" Ted questioned genetly. Barney shook his head. Why would he? His mom had most likely remarried and had other kids to take up her time. His sister was dead. That left his dad, a drunken, hateful man.

The hours left before the gang left was filled with a silence, few words breaking it. And to soon, it was time to leave.(/:wanted to end it here, but I'm not that mean:/) Barney straighned his suit as the five friends got into Marshalls car.

They entered the station were a dissaproving nurse took a blood test, returning to announce it a positive match. Not that Barney had really expected it not to.

"Sir," said a nurse," mr. Whittaker, your father is here. The rest of you," she said looking at Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Ted," will have to remain in the lobby." When Barney entered a small, private office, and found himself face to face with a man he had wanted out if his life forever, a person who had caused him to so carefully construct an entire new life, backround, everything, he had to really try hard not to cry.

"Hello son." Joseph Whittaker said, glaring at the smaller, blonder, male.

"Dad."

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Hey guys, sorry it took so long, please review, and if u want to flame, sure, up my review count. The next chappie won't be for a while I'm going through some stuff now.


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